Blog Archive

Monday, June 13, 2011

June 6, 2011

Hello, America.  I'm just reading over the transcript of Anthony Weiner.  He said it was a hugely regrettable mistake.  Yeah, yeah, I'd say that.  He said the underpants photo was a joke.  Uh huh, I'm sure your wife is laughing.  There's also some other photos that he took of himself... [Beck gets close to the camera.] Anthony, have ya looked at yourself?  You're really not... I mean... Nobody wants to see you with less clothes on... I mean, it's like me... I don't take any pictures of me with less clothes on.  It's not... Shouldn't we question, as a country, shouldn't we question the man's judgement just based on that?  He thinks he's hot.

He apparently is not going to resign.  Because, uh, why?  What he did was just an indiscretion.  And why he did it -- boy, does this sound like it's out of the Bill Clinton playbook? -- he only lied because he was embarrassed.  And it was only a lie about his personal life.  [Beck laughs.]  Oh yeah, that's right.

So, as many as six women, and apparently there's more photos coming out... A good day for me not to be blind yet.

Here he is saying that he's not going to resign.  May I ask, is there no shame in America anymore?  What's the name of the guy who just took a picture of himself like this, Chris Lee.  Do ya have a picture of Chris Lee?  Yeah. Hiiiii.  That guy was out before we got to dinner.  He was like [posing] yeah, I'm an idiot.

Weiner?  No, apparently not.  You know who Anthony Weiner makes me have more respect for?  Bring him on, bring him on.  [Photo on screen.] That guy.  Remember him?  Remember that guy, he was like, "we used to have tickle fights when we were in the Navy.  I just liked to go actively hug men."  That guy at least had the common decency when he knew the jug was up, he was like "okay, uhhh.  Got me.  I resign."  Today I have more respect for this guy than Anthony Weiner.

It is -- may I show you where we've put the bar?  Right about here [gestures to a few inches above the floor], right about here is where we've put the bar.  See?  That's where the bar is.  About four hundred feet below my hand is where the bar currently is in our country.

This guy is one of the most arrogant men I have seen.  You know when the doctor always says, "Hey, finish your antibiotics."  Why do they tell you that?  Because if you don't -- this is what the doctor never told us and now we're figuring this out with the suberbugs -- if you don't finish your antibiotics then you've got this Hurculean virus running around killing everything, and nothing stops it.  [Hoarse laugh.]  If this doesn't stop this guy, if people don't cry out for this guy to be packing grocery bags or whatever it is his skill was, maybe being a photographer, if he doesn't go into photography and leave Washington right now, if this doesn't kick him out of office, nothing will. Do you know who you're looking at?  You're looking at the replacement for Charlie Wrangle.  If this guy doesn't leave office now, he'll never leave office.  And oh my, oh my, imagine the monster this is creating.  Good luck with that one, New York.  Who wants to move to Texas with me?


Hello, America.  That was the guy I think who last year was holding congressional hearings calling me unethical.

How are youuuu?  'Cause I'm great!  [Laughs, then gets serious.]  The world makes no sense whatsoever.  Last week, let's pick up the storyline last week, when I was talking to you about the upcoming border protests along the Israeli border.  [Laughs] Now, I gotta tell you something.  Everybody's been so right about me being wrong on everything every step of the way.  Let's just go to the videotape here.  I said they were going to illegally flood the border walls and the fences.  Here's what I said, and then we're gonna play a little tape from NBC about what actually happened.

[video 1, May 31]
They will flood the border.
...Tried to break through the border today between Syria and Golan heights.

And then, I said Israel would be provoked into taking actions.  Ya know, shooting people.  Okay? Let's see what happened.

[video 1, May 31]
They will force Israel to defend itself and provoke them to act out
Israel ended up firing across the border, killing at least fourteen people.

How does he do it?  He's like a magician on TV.  He, like, says it's gonna happen, and then it happens!  [Gurgles.]

I also said that they would take all kinds of pictures and exploit the deaths... [Fade into May 31 Beck video.]
They will take as many pictures as they can of the injured.  And the world will react.


[Shows pictures of the incident.]  Oh, are those pictures?  Uh oh.  Eh.  Isn't this weird?  Somebody should ask, "How does this guy know?"  Maybe I'm planning it.  OR, [gets close to the camera] I'm just listening to people.  I'm just listening to them!  I take them at their word.  Ha-ha.  THAT could be it.  No.  No, you know what we should do?  We should pay more attention to Anthony Weiner.  Pay no attention to that guy [ gestures to picture of a coffin.]  No.  That guy in the box?  He's dead.  What's Anthony Weiner doing?  Does he have any other sexy shots?

Syria, now, claims that 2500 people were killed, 350 people wounded, and -- remember I said last week they're gona send women and children across the border to be killed -- guess who were among the dead!  According to Syria, a woman and a child.  Yeah.

The U.N. -- pfft, glad they're involved -- they're trying to confirm the facts surrounding the incident.  [Mock furrowed brow.]  Ohh... I wonder who they're gonna find at fault.  Syria, or Israel?

No word on if the U.N. is looking into this little report: it said that the Assad regime -- you know, the one that has all of the rioters in the streets?  That one -- is paying protesters now $1000 to flood the Israeli border.  A thousand in Syria... is A LOT.  It's like, more than a thousand dollars.  Syria wants the world and the U.N. to pay attention to these staged events because [laughter] they're busy gunning down protesters in the streets.  [Picture] See, that's Syria.  Those are people in Syria that aren't flooding the borders.  They're just trying to kill the government, and so the government is trying to [machine gun noise].  Up to 70 have been killed after Syrian government forces opened fire on a crowd of 50,000 protesters.  Hang on just a second.  [Walks to chalkboard.]

Seventy, seventy have been killed.  Okay, this is the Syrian border where 25 are dead, sent over by the Syrians.  So the mean, evil Israelis have killed 25.  But the kind, gentle, loving, sweet, pie-making Syrians have only gunned down 70 themselves.  Hmm.

Oh, and they've got tanks and stuff in the streets.  But don't worry.  China does that.  And we're all gonna be like China soon.  They're just trying to attempt to quell the protesters there.  Meanwhile, President Obama is telling us that we need to side with the governments like Syria, because all they want is peace and change.  Ohh, I'm hopin' for it.  And I have a feelin we're gonna get it. /sarcasm

As they march they're people off to death, isn't great?, we're hoping for chaaange.

Yesterday, was significant in the Middle East, because it's Naksa day.  I love Naksa day.  Did you decorate your Naksa tree?  Neither did I.  Naksa, not to be confused with Nakba.  Naksa means setback. Nakba means catastrophe.  This is kind of important, because they have been celebrating, which looks a little bit like that kind of celebration -- you know, tear gas, the usual run of the mil stuff, without the hot dogs.  So, Nakba day is the day of the Great Catastrophe, which is the day that Israel was founded.  Naksa is where they came up with the borders after 1967.  So that was a set back.  Setback?  Setback?  That would imply that there was a bigger goal in mind.  Gee.  I wonder if it could be -- let's think, let's think, think out of the box -- destroy Israel and kill all of the Jews?  Ya think?  Maybe that could be it?  NO... /sarc

All the good intellectuals, especially those who are good friends with this administration, like Rashid Khalidi?  Oh, he's back in the news again.  He's such a good guy.  Okay, sure, he's pro-Palestinian and pro-Palestinian terrorist sympathizer.  Sure.  And a college professor at Columbia University, but who isn't these days?  He's also thought to have ties to the PLO, but why check.

Last year, he began raising funds for a Gaza-bound boat called The Audacity of Hope.  The Audacity of Hope, the Audacity of Hope... Here's Rashid Khalidi.  He's gonna put together a boat, the USS The Audacity of Hope [shows pictures for both, held in hand].  Where have I heard that name before?  [Puts picture of Obama with other two pics.]  Oh, that's right.  He has a book.  By this guy's good friend, Barack Obama.  And this [Obama book] was named, not after the boat.  The boat was named after this [the book], and this was named after a sermon given by this guy [picture of Rev. Jeremiah Wright], who also hates the Jews.  Isn't it all great?

Heh heh heh heh.  We're screwed if you don't wake up, America.  The Audacity of Hope.  Now.  This guy [Khalidi] has raised enough cash to let this ship sail with the freedom flotilla II.  Coming later this month, oh, freedom is gonna be good!  Now, Khalidi is a good friend of this guy [Obama] and he was there when he [Obama] launched his campaign at this guy's [Bill Ayers] house.  He -- this is Bill Ayers, Weather Underground terrorist -- is married to this lady [Bernadine Dohrn].  And this lady, Bernadine Dohrn, also a terrorist, hahaha, you see where we're going here?  They're organizing a flotilla, too.  Oh, they all must have so much to talk about.  You know what I mean, they've got so much stuff in common.  Not him [Obama], though.  He's on Israel's side.  /sarc  Just all the people around him, that's it.

So anyway, they apparently are so close, they're friends, and they reportedly attended the same celebration of Khalidi that this guy [Obama] spoke at and praised, and of course we can't... We don't have videotape.  Okay, I don't have it.  The LA Times has the videotape, but they're not gonna release that videotape.  No, they don't think it's relevant right now.  [Editor's note: I wonder what the LA Times' position is on the newly released Palin emails.]  They have videotape of the event, but they're not gonna release it.


I mean, unless you're trying to protect Obama, because he's saying really good things about this guy [Khalidi].    In the same room with these people [Ayers and Dohrn].  Ya know, then you might not want to release it, because it would hurt the president.  How journalistic of you, LA Times.  Seriously.

Lemme tell you something.  One of my  assistants who I just hired right out of Columbia University, he interned for me for two years, and he had a class with this guy [Khalidi] at Columbia.  He said it was fantastic.    In the first lecture, he said this: There is this notion that the Middles East is this region deprived of democracy and freedom, well that's simply not true.  (You are so right.  I was talking to this woman as she was driving down the street, oh wait, she wasn't driving down the street.  Anyways...)  It's a crazy notion.  Where have I heard that before?  He also stated: Every place on earth is in support of the Palestinians except the U.S. and Israel, yet all of them together don't matter to the United States and Israel, because the U.S. and Israel can do anything they want because of their status as a superpower.  Ohh.. You [Khalidi] are so smart.  Who's got a big egghead?  You do.

A lot of our universities are pushing bigotry.  And that's what this is.  This is anti-Israeli bigotry.  Anti-Jewish.  Antisemitic.  It is Anti-American.  Bigotry.  And this administration embraces that kind of thinking.  I think.  Have you noticed that, or is it just me?

Last week I talked about the proposed circumcision ban in Israel.


(please drop a note in the comments if you would like this episode to be moved up on my priorities queue!)


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